Day 22: In which I sell and am sold

Oy. Life, it ain’t easy.

Gather round, children; I’ve got stories to tell (so many stories but I will limit it to 2).

1. The sack.

Prologue: I am overeducated and unemployed and that is stressful and depressing.

I found a part-time job to keep myself occupied and make a little money while I look for a full time speech therapy job. I made it through 1 1/2 days of training before my employment ended.

I went in planning to quit at the end of my shift because asking people who are unemployed or dealing with medical concerns for money, even for causes I care about deeply, made me feel guilty and anxious. An hour into today, I had my standard “training day check-in.” The folks in charge — lovely people, every single one — could tell that I was getting stressed out about those types of calls.

The much abbreviated version: “We can put you back on the phones, right now, and we know you’ll bring in more money. That’s what’s good for the organization. But I don’t think that’s what’s good for you, and it’s important to me that our employees aren’t stressed out and are proud of the work they do. If I send you back out there, can you keep making those calls and go home this evening feeling good about yourself? If the answer is no, then you need to think seriously about whether you’re willing to keep doing a job that makes you unhappy.”

They made it really easy to quit. Halfway out the door, I realized it was more of a mutual resignation/sacking, and it was a convenient coincidence on their part that I had already planned to quit today. We’d both planned the conversation, and because the other party had also planned the conversation, both halves just slotted neatly into place. I didn’t have to raise an awkward subject because they did it for me, and they didn’t have to out-and-out tell me that they didn’t want me. Win/win… I think?

I have never been sacked before. Even though I didn’t want this job, being sacked is rough. I thought about stopping to buy a donut. BUT I DIDN’T, because I didn’t really want the donut, I wanted to feed the feelings. And that is my first 1/2 victory: I didn’t feed the feelings. But I can’t claim a full victory because, after all, today I was sacked.

2. Red ink

Prologue: I am overeducated and unemployed and my bank account is not happy.

Today was my free personal training session at the (cheap, thank god) gym. This is the very sneaky perk that gyms give in order to up-sell additional paid personal training sessions.

I knew this going in. I had prepared myself to say no, bank account firmly in mind. But here’s the truth about my strength training efforts so far: although I have the motivation to strength train by myself, I lack the knowledge to manipulate equipment in novel ways to get the workout I need as a beginning lifter — and that’s what I got from Andrew. Here’s what I learned:

There are multiple ways to modify a push-up and some are better than others. Better: do a push-up from your toes, at an incline, rather than from your knees, flat. Plus, he showed me how to use a weight machine I wouldn’t have looked twice at, in a novel way that allows me to do inclined push-ups.

Bodyweight squats are great, but they’re better if you extend your arms over your head.

You don’t need a barbell for doing an overhead press or push-press, so no need to worry about cleans yet. Without a barbell, using a kettlebell or medicine ball gives you more stability than dumbbells.

And so, despite all my self-talk this morning, I said “yes” to 5 personal training sessions. I got a great workout this morning in only 30 minutes. I can learn a lot from Andrew. All I did today was push – I need exercises for a pull day, too. I was smart enough to spread the sessions over 5 weeks — I don’t need him to motivate my workouts, so if I only see him once a week, every time I see him he can teach me when and how to adjust difficulty to maximize effects.

That is my second half-victory of the day: I am making use of a great strength training resource to help me get stronger. But I can’t claim a full victory because, after all, that resource cost an unemployed lady $150.

Epilogue: I bet Andrew would do great at my former job.

3. A bonus story, if you’ve made it this far.

Tomorrow is another day.

Fitness today
Miles to Mordor: 0.64
Strength training (body weight squats, push-ups; circuits: body weight squats, push-ups, push press with medicine ball)

Food today
Snack: 1 low fat string cheese
Brunch: leftover stir fry (chicken, veg, coconut cream, coconut oil)
Snack: 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 pear
Snack: 2 low fat string cheese
Dinner: blackened cod (a little peanut oil), roasted delicata squash (drizzle maple syrup and tossed in a little bacon fat), salad (lettuce, bell pepper, onion, a little lemon vinaigrette)


Comment here. Fair warning: fat shaming and pro-ana "thinspiration" will get you banned.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s