Day 38: battles

I haven’t felt like blogging the last couple days. To be honest I haven’t felt like doing much of anything. I worked out on Monday morning but didn’t do C25K on Tuesday. So much napping. My total calories have been fine but I’ve not had nearly enough protein either day.

Something I think might be happening: my feelings of failure related to my unemployment are strongest during the week (when I wish I was working) and over the last week or so have been affecting my overall motivation to do *anything* — cook, eat well, exercise on schedule, blog, stay awake… this, my friends, is called depression.

I did go to the gym today for my 4th personal training session. I worked hard. My biceps are jelly. I feel better having exercised. I need to figure out a way to make my positive feelings about eating well and exercising outweigh my negative feelings about unemployment because they are successes no matter what else is happening in my life.

There is a facebook group called Eat The Food which aligns with my philosophy of health and fitness — lift heavy things, do cardio if it makes you feel good, eat ENOUGH, and eat what makes you feel good. It is incredibly inspirational to see other people who have lost weight and become fit doing the things I believe are good for my body. Reading the message board today was a great motivator.

Fitness today
walking (warm-up and incline intervals)
circuits: one-leg incline push-ups, medicine ball throw-downs, kettlebell swings. push-ups, lunges with medcine-ball press, kettlebell swings. one-arm and 2-arm cable rows.

Food today
9.30: 1 kind bar
11.15: 2 eggs fried in 1 tsp bacon fat, 1 slice walnut wheat sourdough toast, 1/3 cup greek yogurt, 1 oz cheddar, salsa
1.45: salad (shrimp, lettuce, bell pepper, carrot, onion, sesame dressing, cashews)
5pm: apple, 2 string cheese
8pm: 2/3 cup rice, shrimp stir fry

2 thoughts on “Day 38: battles

  1. To say unemployment is tough would be an understatement, but hang in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can’t see it yet – a bit like running and weight loss. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to stay strong and you will get through it. šŸ™‚

    • Thanks — I really appreciate the support! Intellectually I know it will be okay and I’ll find a job that fits for me. It’s just hard to believe that on an emotional level on a day to day basis.

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